Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010 was a year of many changes for us, some good, some not so much. One of the most drastic changes last year and most heartbreaking was the passing of my grandmother. In the fall of 2009 my grandmother got quite ill. She went back and forth between the hospital and home-and then finally hospice. She passed away last January-just three months after her initial hospitalization. See my grandmother was/is very instrumental in my life. She had a huge hand in my up bringing. Some of my favorite memories (from my early childhood) include us going out to get fried fish (from Captain D's) and then coming back home to look at Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. She loved game shows. Another thing she would always do for me was to get me a Snickers bar whenever we ventured to the grocery store together. She loved cooking and was absolutely one of the best cooks I've ever known. Her macaroni and cheese (she used Velveeta:) was so, so good. She always wanted family and guests to eat well. Her cakes, her pies were pure down home goodness. She was my perpetual cheerleader, she use to tell me how proud she was of me-even if I hadn't done anything particularly outstanding. I am so very grateful that my own children had chances to be with her during our visits down South. Often someone I know will tell me that I have "old people ways" and I know exactly why I do have those ways. I miss talking to her on the phone, asking for advice, talking about the weather, politics, and what we were both cooking up for dinner. I just miss her so much-I keep my memories of her close to my heart.
Another major change this year (late summer) was our move. This is the farthest we have ever moved from our family. In all the other places we've lived before we were at least in driving distance to someone in our families. This move took a lot out of me (honestly I was a hot mess), but with each day this new place becomes less new. I'm not big on change-at all. If I could live in the same place for years I think I would because I'm just a creature of habit. However because of schooling and work situations we have done our fair share of moving. Now in a new place, we are trying to establish community for our family. This community building has been made somewhat easier because of our church. Yet, I still find myself at times struggling with feelings of loneliness and sadness. As I inch closer my forties- the need for connection and belonging has become stronger. Roots. We are not totally sure if this will be the place for our "roots"- but we will remain prayerful about it.
Other changes include what's next for me work/career wise. This has been on my mind alot because now both of my girls are in school all day. Often I get the question, "what do you do with all that free time?" Honestly I want to respond to the person asking with "I recharge!", but mostly I just look at the person with a shy grin. The tutoring, piano practices, and other activities fill up a great deal of our after school days, but perhaps it would be interesting to pursue something outside of the home spectrum (hence the Master Gardening classes :) My dream would be to work outdoors-planting something, but is that practical? When my oldest daughter was born I put her in daycare when she was six months old to go back to school. After schooling I worked outside the home until I had my second child. After my second child I did not re-enter the workforce. Now my youngest is in school full day. Should I go back to my old field which is totally practical or should I pursue something vastly different? Definitely questions for me to answer in 2011.
Despite those major changes in 2010, 2010 also included some wonderful times. We participated in our first ceilli, we visited weekly with our dear friends and had lovely adventures with them, we visited Chicago and one of our favorite places there, we participated in the community garden with friends from church. Now we are getting to know new people, laying the foundation for new friendships and appreciating the beautiful scenery (greenery, mountains, trees) of this place we now call home.
My prayer for this New Year includes a prayer for strength~
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:12-13 NIV
a prayer for wisdom~
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
James 1:5 NIV
and most of all a prayer of hope~
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.
Psalms 62:5 NIV
again Happy New Year~