You know I've been thinking a bit about the last post and how I'm attempting to have a more "yes" approach and less of a "no" one. Really I've been thinking about my own parenting style and how even now nine years into this I'm kinda of making it up as I go along. I know for sure that I want to raise daughters that love the Lord and desire His will in their lives. I also know that I want the girls to understand that the things that the world values (accumlating stuff, fancy houses, cars, titles. etc.) is not important but that forming good loving relationships is-this I know for sure I want to impart to them. Yet I still struggle in other terms in finding the balance between freedom and control. I know I'm very overprotective, but I also know that this isn't always helpful. I know that in order to gain confidence and maturity, they have to make decisions on their own-I know this is my head you see, but putting into practice is hard.
But I'm making a small amount of progress-letting them make decisions without always trying to "correct" them. For instance my daughter wanted to spend some of her money-that she had earned for working in the yard-on something I thought wasn't necessary (chicken nuggets-we have lots of food in the fridge) but she insisted.
I thought to myself that I should give her the opportunity to see that if she does use the money she would have less of it to spend on something else. I know just a small instance-but a start. The balance of freedom and control is something that I deal with daily. I want the girls to be independent creative thinkers, but I also think that offering some structure/guidance is a good thing for them too. See really I have no answers here-just a mom typing out her thoughts. But one thing I'm sure about is that I am daily humbled by the job of mothering and its greatness-and thats when I count on grace.
Let me preface this by saying that I am not a mother, but I do teach elementary age children, and I hear your struggle. I believe that you have to keep honoring God and praying for guidance and He will help you to make the right decisions for your kids. Mistakes will be made, but that's just part of the process.
ReplyDeleteIn reading your blog, I L-O-V-E what you're doing with your kids! :-)
None of us have the answers, my friend. Not now, not on our dying day. I think the best thing that we can do for our children is to teach them that they are LOVED, that we're all just doing the best that we can, and that we must be gentle with ourselves and each other. I know that you're doing that. I see it every time I have the joy of spending time with you and your girls. xoxo
ReplyDeletethanks Libby and Tara for the supportive words, I need them and they mean alot to me.
ReplyDeleteThanks again friends (:
nichole
Lovely to read of your journey, this journey we are all on as mothers none of know the answers as each family is unique and each child unique. I am a firm believer in trusting our children and following their interests. Spurring their creativity and love for life by appreciating child led learning. I think saying yes in life opens up many opportunities that may otherwise not have been there.
ReplyDeletethanks so much gardenmama for the encouragement.
ReplyDeleteI agree, creativity and independence can result from child led learning, kids seem to have such a fresh perspective of the world-especially since they don't have baggage like many adults do.